When everything happens at once, all you can do is keep moving...
Or as it's said in country,
"If you're going through hell, keep on moving,
Don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it,
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there!"
Well, depending on what part of life has happened lately, that is how I am thinking. So since nothing is ever simple in my life anyways I'm almost surprised I don't always think like that. But that's neither here nor there.
Recently, I have woken up and come to the realization that my ridiculous speculations as to how serious I feel about Sterling were sad doubts that had grown in the back of my mind due to past fears I had accumulated during my marriage and common-law relationship. He is so good to me I think that i had actually questioned -again- whether I deserved to have someone so wonderful in my life. He's just so good to me and treats me so well that sometimes it amazes me that I could have hooked myself such a great catch, as cheesy as that sounds. Well having come to this realization, I now had the inconvenient issue of having to figure out how to tell him that I now am sure that I want to make a wholehearted effort in our newfound relationship. You know, since we live together already! Of course, he assured my love and devotion by doing two things that are very special and significant to me. The first was that he brought his son to our apartment for the night. To me this means that he not only trusts me to be around his son in a closer way but also that he feels comfortable in bringing me into that part of his life, because his son is, in my opinion, the most important thing in his life. The second was that he was very sneeky and called the company that I was buying my saddle from and he paid off the balance. Now most people would assume that means that my love can be bought, but if you think that, then you are wholly wrong about who I am as a person. Sterling, being the genius that he is, did exactly the thing that no man would probably think to do that would mean the most to me. To buy me something like a saddle or do anything to do with my horses is the first thing that says to me how much he knows me and proves that he knows what is important to me and how to support what is close to my heart. If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the way to mine is through the tack store!
And that was about where the positive side of things ends. Everything else is just... bad. The first was the disappointment of having the first of a series of three competitions being held by Wolf Creek Stables cancelled due the terrifyingly cold weather. Understandably, it was so cold it was a hazard to the health of the animals aswell as the people for fear of frost bite, but it did suck to find out what I had been working towards wouldn't happen. That was supposed to happen this past sunday. Since then, almost the entire barn's horses, at Camelstone of course, have gotten sick, and it was today we found out, after getting the results back from the vet, that they all have strangles! And my gelding is the worst of all of them. Of course Sadie is already on the mend, being the vibrant little mare she is, and was the first to have the infection start to drain. I just hope the rest of the herd, including Forest, starts tomorrow. I don't mind going to the stable to wash off their chins so long as that means they're healing and the meds they're on are working. But of course, due to the nature of strangles, this means we won't be able to go to the first or second competition, and I will be in the sandbox for the third. So competing will have to wait until the summer. Also, which isn't so bad but still sucks is I'm kicking my own ass prepping for this stupid Battle Fitness Test (BFT) that I have to pass in order to be allowed to go on tour to Afghanistan, but it's gonna suck! 13 km in 2hrs 26mins and 20secs... beyond me where the 20 seconds came from but hey, gives me time to run across the finish line. And then on top of it all, instead of Sterling saying goodbye to me, I'll be saying goodbye to him because he gets to go on a career course before I even leave. Oh well. It's suck it up time!
Let's hope that everyone survives this crazy time!
Keep moving,
Lady S.
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